writers

A Pocketful of Good Advice (and Peak District)!

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Last weekend I threw caution, preplanning and all the things I should have been doing to the wind, and uprooted us all to the Peak District for a long weekend.

It’s not the kind of a place you need an excuse to visit, chock-full of natural beauty as it is, but we all had several  – visiting The Marketplace Restaurant and Scarthin Books in Cromford again, visiting Peveril Castle – but I had a just-for-me excuse in the form of a workshop on writing Pocket Novels, run by the lovely Sally Quilford and handily located in Chesterfield.

It was great to finally meet Sally in the flesh and I spent a useful, funny and hugely enjoyable few hours in the company of Sally and my fellow workshoppers. I had worried that it might be brimming with multi-published authors who just wanted some pointers on the Pocket Novel format. Eeek! Intimidating!

As it turned out, I had no need to worry. They were a friendly bunch with a great sense of humour and ranged from writing novices to people like me who have had the odd success here and there but are still working hard at it and trying to have more. Everyone was full of enthusiasm and great ideas, whilst Sally’s advice, exercises and handouts were incredibly useful, really making me feel well-informed and a great deal more confident about writing for that format.

So much so, that I’ll be giving my first pocket novel a go for NaNoWriMo! But more on that later. For now, here’s a rundown of the topics Sally covered

  • Basic requirements: format, word length, characters, structure, narrative, dialogue etc
  • Writing a traditional romance – the conventions
  • The Morality of Pocket Novel World
  • Approachable Heroines
  • Rewarding Heroes
  • Conflict – what it is and how it works in romances
  • The First of a Million Kisses
  • Compelling secondary characters
  • How to come up with plots and sub-plots
  • Quick tips for writing a pocket novel (focusing on structure)
  • Writing for My Weekly/People’s Friend – what the editors want; similarities and differences
  • Tips for writing your synopsis
  •  After your pocket novel is published: Going into Large Print and Kindle
Hopefully I haven’t forgotten any. If you get the chance to go to one of Sally’s workshops, GO! You’ll have fun and learn a lot. 
Afterwards I caught up with the family, who had been exploring the town and museum, and were having a tour around the church with its famous twisted spire. A fascinating church – lots of inspiration there!

Santa Silliness!

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Yes! I bring you news of a major literary prize win!

Well OK. Not a major literary prize, BUT the lovely Wendy Soliman, who causes me constant pangs of envy because she spends most of her time in Andorra or Florida (wibble!), had a birthday recently. And in a fit of birthday-inspired madness  generosity she offered a prize for the most  ‘off the wall’ suggestion as to what Father Christmas gets up to for the rest of his year. Read her post to see what started her on this train of thought!

Since off-the-wall is my middle name (yes I know, mine was a difficult childhood. And signing the cheques…), I gave it a go.

And in return for my minutes hours of painstaking effort, I won the prize! Now I just have to sit back and wait for one of Wendy’s books – A Class Apart – to wing its way to me. Hooray!

I know you’re dying to know what wondrous & profoundly life-transforming gem won me my prize.  And it would be mean of me to deny you, oh gracious readers who find me by searching for Belushi Tea, Caron Freeborn and Christopher Somerville.

So here it is. You may want a tissue to wipe away the tears.

Downtime for Father Christmas

Father Christmas is, of course, a kindly soul. So he spends much of his year caring for the other supernatural creatures that don’t get out much – you know, ghouls,the Easter Bunny,the occasional Tooth Fairy whose patch is just a tiny hamlet in the Hebrides. And of course when Mrs Christmas demands her sunshine break (well wouldn’t YOU, if you lived at the North Pole?), they have to invite Jack Frost to their Barbados villa too. “He’s at a loose end,” Father Christmas explains to his wife. She wraps her beach kimono around herself and pouts.”It’s intolerable, Crimbo!” she cries, batting her eyelashes at her twinkle-eyed hubby. “He drips all over the floor!” “He can’t help it, dear” says Father Christmas gently. “It’s in his nature.” Mrs C sniffs. “You wouldn’t say that if YOU were the one who spent the rest of the year scooping up Easter Bunny’s pellets. Easter Bummy, that’s what I’d call him.”
The conversation always ends the same way. She stalks out and Father C sighs, knowing once again his generosity will cost him a brand new ‘Mary Christmas by Chanel’ suit for Mrs C…

A-harrr, Me Hearties, Win A Prize!

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Ahoy there, landlubbers, it do be me, Cap’n Alison, that’s havin’ a prize suitable for younger readers, on account of it bein’ Talk Like A Pirate Day.

It do be Anna Nilsen’s Pirates, which is a puzzle book which bids ye get “All Aboard For Hours Of Puzzling Fun!” It were the last thing she wer a’writin a’fore I made her walk the plank.

 But, avast ye! Ye cannot ‘ope to be winnin’ the treasure just by bein’ here, you scurvy bilge rats!! Nor will it come to ye for singing’ a shanty, callin’ on the help o’ Davy Jones, or offerin’ me yer last pieces of 8 (nor your last maggoty Rolo).

No! Ye ‘ave to be anserin’ of two questions, and they be powerful tricky. Happen findin’ the answers be more difficult than splicin’ the mainbrace whilst dancin’ a jig with a sea serpent a’crawlin down your trousers.

And there’s to be no ‘elp ‘ad from persky piratin’ parrots, either.

They be concernin’ my fav’rite piratin’ books.

1. Who wrote The Pirate Devlin (and was interviewed about it in Writing Magazine?)

2. Who wrote the children’s series High Seas Adventures (The Wreckers, The Smugglers, The Bucaneers?)

Be leavin’ of yer answers below in a comment, and if ye be the first t’answer correctly, I’ll be askin’ of ye to send me yer address in a bottle. Or if ye be modern, by email.

 

Nagged By Your Notebook (it could have been a novel, you know…)

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Apologies if you’ve been deafened by my manic laughter. It’s the heady feeling of freedom, you know. That’s what’s to blame. Yes! My advanced creative writing course – and Diploma – are now over. Done. Ended. Finito. Now I just have to wait with fingers crossed to hear whether I’ve gained the right to be an incredibly sad muppet who puts Dip CW after my name.

I fear most people will think it means Care Work and try to drag me round to Auntie Rose’s house to change her colostomy bag because it’s come loose and it smells funny. Sigh…

Meanwhile, some things never end. And one of them is my love of stationery. ArtyDaughter came back from town the other week with a delectable little bit-smaller-than-A6-size project book in different shades of blue. This will be perfect for my handbag – small enough to fit in snugly, and with those lovely dividers so that my random thoughts can be organised for easy access later! Perfect.

And a few weeks earlier, ConstructoBoy got a box full of Waldo Pancake goodies for his birthday. (Be still, quivering heart; how can I not have known about these things before?) Amongst these treasures was a notebook:

Waldo Pancake Notebook - I could've been a novel.

 

Yes, I know. The front cover is enough to make your writing procrastination guilt come hotfooting it through your door. But the worst is yet to come. This quote is unfinished.
And when you turn it over, you see the end.

…instead of a stupid little notepad, which is what I am.’

You see? It really is a notebook that nags.
And they have other weapons in their arsenal too, these Pancake people.

There are others, but these were a few that I thought all the writers out there could relate to… 😉  In case you’re tempted, you can buy them – and lots of other funky bookmarks, coasters etc – here

ConstructoBoy, great writer though he is, has not taken the hint and started a novel (though he did consider it. Bless the boy.) Instead he is writing down the details (lined pages) and drawing relevant pictures (plain pages) of a computer game he is designing. It features a lot of tanks of different kinds, and he is determined to get every fact right…

Thank heavens for the internet and Usborne’s Second World War cards 🙂

A (Very) Tardy T to Z

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Yes I know it’s late. But I hate to leave a thing unfinished, so…

T ‘is the most commonly used consonant and the second most common letter in the English language’ Wikipedia.  And of course, according to the rest of the world it’s what us Mad Dogs and Englishmen drink all the time! Seriously though, tea has a fascinating history and you could do worse than watch the Victoria Wood documentary Victoria’s Empire to appreciate the impact that humble beverage has had on the world. Truly amazing.

U – the first word that occurred to me was underdog. An internet search bought up multiple companies offering to fight for your accident and injury compensation, and a film starring James Belushi (and a dog). I think this says a lot about today’s world…

V – varnish. Apparently this is not just a wood-preserving finish but also the name of an HTTP accelerator. This word also makes me think of the cliche ‘unvarnished truth’, which for some reason I love – but, being a writer, I am therefore forbidden to use it Except Occasionally In Dialogue.

W – woad. Because I love the word and blue is my favourite colour. Woad is a blue dye made from the flowering plant Isatis tinctoria, and has a history stretching back millenia.

X – a silly non-letter that’s normally said as Z. I refuse to discuss it 😉

Y – yak. Sorry, but once it had pinged into my brain, that was it. I had to go and see which area they’re indigenous too, as I wasn’t sure. Himalayan plateau, apparently. What was rather more disturbing was this:

ARE YOU TOUGH ENOUGH?
  • OVER 400KM OF THE MOST BRUTAL MOUNTAIN BIKING TRAILS ON EARTH!
  • NEARLY ALL FORMER COMPETITORS CALLED IT THE TOUGHEST EVENT THEY EVER DID!
  • IT DESTROYS BIKES, DEVOURS BODIES AND BREAKS MIND!
  • IN 4 YEARS ONLY 8 INTERNATIONAL RIDERS HAVE FINISHED WITHOUT ASSISTANCE!
  • OVER 11000M OF CLIMBING, PEAKING AT 5,416M!
  • IT’S MOUNTAIN BIKING IN THE HIMALAYA

    ITS YAK ATTACK!!!

If this sounds like your bag, man (or woman), then I suggest you visit this webiste and sign yourself up immediately…

Z is for zombies. Can’t get away from the bloomin things these days, they’re everywhere – and you could be forgiven for being sick of the sight of them (yes, cliche alert, but this is a blog, not a novel. I must admit to enjoying the zombie mini-series Dead Set, which was set in the Big Brother house. Davina McCall was worryingly authentic. Charlie Higson’s The Enemy  is also brill, and I’m waiting to read the next one; it’s been a long wait for me, as I was lucky enough to read the first one a lot earlier than most mere mortals.

So here we are. We got to Z in the end. And as I have a glut of unused cliches, what can I say but Better Late Than Never, Good Things Come To Those Who Wait, Nothing Ventured – Nothing Gained, Better late than Late, and, of course:

All Good Things Must Come To An End.

Adieu, A to Z Challenge. Or is it only Au Revoir…

K is for Kidnapping Characters

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I was quite tempted to take up Sylvia Ney’s ‘k sound writing challenge’, which I urge you to take a stab at, but since I already had this blog post in mind I stuck with it. I was determined to bring you all over to the Dark Side. To make you walk the Path of Criminality. To make you Dabble in the Depths of Depravity. To-

Ok, that’s quite enough of that. Though I am here to encourage you to kidnap someone. But that someone has to be fictional.

Perhaps you already know a character you want to kidnap – a character who didn’t act in a convincing way (you could have written it better); a character who you wanted to see more of (you knew exactly what happened to them next – why didn’t the author?) or perhaps a character you love so much that you’re keen to give them some new adventures.

So go on – kidnap a character. And now give them either a challenge made up entirely by you, or a challenge from another character’s story. Perhaps even another character in the same book.

How would Lydia Bennet have handled Mr.Darcy?

How would Lyra (Northern Lights/Golden Compass) have dealt with Long John Silver?

The Pevensie children have gone through the back of the wardrobe and met some good-looking vampires…what happens next?

Artemis Fowl is Number Four. Lemony Snicket found the One Ring.

You get the idea. How would these characters react in these situations, or ones you can make up for them? How would that change the outcomes of the original plots?

How would Will Burrows (Tunnels) react if he was in an aeroplane about to crash?
What if the doctors in Sebastian Faulk’s Human Traces had been trapped underground?
How would these characters cope:

Hermione  – with her parents getting divorced
Ron – on discovering one of his brothers was gay
Harry – discovering he had a long lost sister
Miss Havisham – given the chance to travel backwards in time
Christopher Boone (Curious Incident) – breaking his leg? Trapped in a lift?
Robert Langdon – given the chance to travel forwards in time
Rincewind – given a super-power
Henry DeTamble (The TT’s Wife) – winning the lottery? Being trapped in a mine?

Hopefully by now your brain’s already working on one of these. Or one of your own. While I’m not suggesting you should steal a character wholesale (although consider the publicity surrounding Pride, Prejudice and Zombies – perhaps honesty might serve you well!), this kind of shake-up could give you ideas for a best-selling novel of your own.

I’m off to write about what happened to Jack Sparrow when, curious chappie that he is, he prodded open the door of a certain blue police box… 😀